Tuesday, March 9, 2004

There Must Be Easier Ways To Dice With Death

Common wisdom will tell you that cats are self-cleaning. Unfortunately, no one has told Cisco. Recently, he'd reached the state where Claire didn't want to stroke him. So this morning, I had to bath him. So, let Cary out, so he doesn't notice. Go upstairs. Take everything out of bathroom. Close all doors upstairs. Come back down, pick up cat, who has just worked out something is going on. Carry him to stairs, where he knows somethings up, has a good idea what, and starts to kick. Close door across bottom of stairs. Carry cat up stairs, into bathroom. Realise an old towel would be useful. Try to put cat down, close bathroom door. Cat runs through legs, back down stairs.

Find Cisco sat at bottom of stairs, glaring evilly at door. Pick up cat, carry upstairs again. Place cat in bathroom, shut door quickly, go into bedroom. Find old towel. Wonder if the neighbours have called the SSPCA yet, as cat is clearly being tortured to death given noises coming from bathroom. Open door, carefully. Cat bolts through legs, back down stairs.

Place towel in bathroom, retrieve cat again. Realise that shampoo might help. Place cat in bathroom, quickly shut door, retrieve shampoo from bedroom. Enter bathroom, carefully. Cat now on windowledge, trying to work out how windows open. Shut door, turn on taps, get water warm but not scalding. Pick up cat, place in bath. Try to turn on shower, hold shower screen and cat to stop escape. End up with slightly soggy cat under the loo.

Place shower head carefully in bath, hoping not to soak bathroom. (Later, I wondered why I worried...) Retrieve cat from under loo. Carpet comes with cat, as he has his claws dug in. Disentangle carpet from cat, make mental note to replace it properly later. Place cat in bath. Trap him with one hand, shower screen and shower head. He runs through the spray, gets wet. Hides under loo again.

Place some shampoo in one hand, drag out cat with the other. Really must sort the carpet later. Soap cat, while he tells the world about his impending murder. Pick up cat, return to bath. Hold down with one hand while spraying with other. Cisco gives every indication of trying to climb on to ceiling this time. Manage to get good enough grip to wash soap off. Woohoo!

Cat escapes again, tries to hide under sink. Loo obviously not a good hiding place. Take old towel and dry, while he runs round room, and tries to hide under the carpet. Eventually, he is drier than the towel. Open bathroom door, Cisco runs down stairs, returns to glowering at door. Open door, cat takes three steps, then sits down and spends two hours licking himself dry.

On the upside, Cisco is now white and fluffy (instead of grey and sticky). And Cary is self-cleaning, bless him.

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2 comments so far.

tynic wrote :

Scalding, not scolding.

Cheers!

10:57 pm, 09/03/2004

Graham [e] [w] wrote :

Thanks. I am not a pedant, I just play one on the Internet.

07:48 am, 10/03/2004